If my life is an offering,
then what do I offer?
I asked this question at the end of a song/poem I wrote in the autumn of 2020. It’s a question I’ve asked myself for many years. What is my purpose in this life? What are my particular talents and how may I put them to good use in this world and my community? (Additional questions: what exactly defines a community and which one/s do I belong to?)
To answer these questions takes a lifetime. In the meantime, I’m just going to do what comes most naturally: I will continue to write and share my words with the world.
Life is short and precious. And with this sobering truth in mind, I have decided to become more deliberate about sharing my written musings and questions and experiences- even if they aren’t finished- even if I haven’t researched every angle and answered every argument surrounding whatever ideas are moving through me. To quote Grace Hartigan, “I cannot expect even my own art to provide all of the answers, only to hope it keeps asking the right questions.”
And so, I have created this Substack newsletter with the intent of publishing more of my writings: old pieces that I’ve never shared before, essays I never quite finished but deserve to be read, and whatever new material springs out of me. I don’t always know what in my work is worth reading. I’ll simply offer what I have and leave it up to the reader to decide. Many writings will be available to read for free, but the more personal and in-depth longer pieces will only be available to paid subscribers (not all offerings should be free).
For paid subscribers, I also intend to share excerpts and chapters of books I am working on, especially because I cannot promise myself or anyone else that I will actually complete those books! Some of these writings are very important and I cannot lock them up inside a book that may or may not be published someday. One of these books is Grace in the Night, which documents my spontaneous kundalini awakening in 2017 and the subsequent deconstruction of my Christian faith. The book is mostly my journal entries from that time, so it is extremely raw and personal. I hope that in sharing excerpts from this project, I will be more motivated and energized to actually complete the book.
I do not plan to share much of my poetry in this space. I will continue to physically publish my poetry in book/booklet form, with excerpts shared on my Instagram account (@gracieyin).
So, for clarity, this is what you can expect if you subscribe to If My Life is an Offering:
Free subscribers:
A lot of older material, some of which has been previously published on my various blogs through the years, and some which has never been published
Shorter essays and writings, old and new
Paid subscribers:
Excerpts from books I am working on, particularly from Grace in the Night, the story of my deconstruction
Writings that are more personal in nature
Longer in-depth essays
My thoughts and perspectives on various hot-topic issues
My current goal is to publish something at least once a week, just as a baseline. Because my energy, health, and inspiration fluctuate all over the place, some weeks I may publish several pieces in one week. But the main goal is to publish something once a week.
It is my hope that you find something in my forthcoming words which helps you navigate this strange life we experience on Earth. Thank you for reading.
-gracieyin