The Truth about Astrology and Revisiting Human Design
I've been wrong about a lot, and I'm glad I found out.
If you've been following me on social media for a few years, you will surely have come across a rant (a two) of me pointing out the absurdity of astrology- mainly, that the signs are not where astrology says they are (due to the procession of the equinox). Astrology has become astronomically inaccurate, so why the hell is anyone paying attention to it? Why has no one updated astrology to be accurate and based in observable reality? What is this rabid obsession with this completely outdated system?! To quote Mugatu from Zoolander, "AM I TAKING CRAZY PILLS?!"
After many years, I finally understand what I didn't understand about astrology:
It was never actually based on the signs/constellations to begin with.
The founders of tropical astrology divided the sky into 12 equal parts (and the constellations are NOT equal in size) and simply named each section after which constellation was closest to it.
So this whole time, astrology wasn't even based on the fucking stars to begin with. It literally has NOTHING to do with the constellations, it was never designed to. Which is why it doesn't matter that the constellations are drifting backwards and the sign names are all wrong now. It's not based on them.
All this time, I simply assumed that astrology was based on the signs/constellations and that no one was bothering to update the calculations based on actual astronomy and the gradual movement of the stars. No wonder I was going crazy. I thought, "EVERYONE can't be wrong, what the fuck am *I* missing here??" And now I know.
The funny thing for me is that understanding this makes me far less skeptical of astrology because I was always skeptical that the constellations actually had specific energy. When the stars in a constellation are that wicked far apart from each other, it makes zero sense to believe they would have a collective energy. (I do believe in the individual energy of stars and that planetary conjunctions with stars have an effect.)
I'm now far more open-minded to astrology and contemplating if it really even means anything that my sun sign is Aries, my moon sign is Cancer, and my ascendant is Capricorn, as opposed to the astronomically correct placements (Pisces, Gemini, Sagittarius).
That being said, I do find it incredibly obnoxious, however, that we continue to use constellation names for these astrological houses. Witchy girls are like, "The full moon is in Scorpio!" And I'm like, "No it ain't, bitch, I can see it in Libra with my own eyes!" It's ridiculously confusing. Now that I'm trying to wrap my brain around astrology, I keep getting tripped up in my sign names because I've gotten so used to looking at the planets on my star tracker app and seeing where they are in real life. I desperately wish we could rename these houses/signs and erase any connection to the constellations, because it's so unnecessarily confusing.
Revisiting the Human Design System
Being open to astrology now opens me up to exploring the Human Design system. Since your Human Design is based upon your astrological birth chart (and I believed astrology was junk because it was astronomically inaccurate), I was mega skeptical of it. Plus, in reading the design types, I thought for sure that I was a Reflector, as opposed to a Projector like it said I was.
However, I'm having some mind-blowing revelations now as I explore my Human Design type and having to deeply reconsider how I've long viewed myself.
While I always thought I sounded similar to a Projector, I was convinced I must be a Reflector (if these types were even real to begin with). I've always seen myself as having a type of reflective personality (I once wrote an entire piece on being a mirror). However, this reflective mirroring type personality that I've acted out for so long (or thought I was acting out- my husband says I don't mirror people that well LOL) has actually been a source of bitter resentment. I want to be my own person. I want to be more defined. I'm sick to death of always reflecting my environment. And so now I wonder: maybe this is actually learned behavior/conditioning, and not my true personality. Maybe somewhere along the way, I tried "fitting in" and becoming chameleon-like in order to navigate relationships and be accepted. I've learned to be the flexible and adaptable one, but then nobody ever gets to meet the real me!
As it turns out, when Projectors (my true design) are not living within their design, their main feeling is bitterness. And, um, yeah. That's been a major flavor in my experience of life.
The more I learn about the Projector type, the more my life makes sense. I always felt I was a prophet or a seer, and I've been told that by many. I have felt like the village wise woman with no village seeking my wisdom (and I'm still young-ish, how pretentious to view myself that way).
For much of my life, I have felt misplaced and utterly pointless, not understanding what value I add to my community. I'm not good at offering practical help to people, such as making a meal or cleaning your house (I NEED THAT HELP SO BAD MYSELF, PLEASE HELP ME). All I've got to give are a bunch of songs and poems and artwork. I'm good at listening and offering valuable insights. I can show you your own brilliance. I'm the first person who will poke holes in someone's grand plans by bringing up all the shit they hadn't considered, and therefore save them a lot of misery IF THEY LISTEN TO ME. I can see in what ways things can be improved upon and tweaked and adjusted for better results (but I'm not the person who can actually do the tweaking work itself). I'm the person at the table who will just say what we're allll thinking, but no one wants to come out and say. I'm the boy who will point out the Emperor isn't wearing any clothes!
But all of this requires an INVITATION, a recognition. No one wants you just showing up in their space and reading your life back to you. Projectors have a penetrating aura which can be really off-putting when not asked for. My eyes are large and see through the surface, excuse me for accidentally staring into your soul...
And so it goes that I, who have an incredible talent for truly seeing into others, have rarely felt seen myself.
And I realize now that a lot of that is on me. I've actually been hiding. I've been trying to slip into people's lives by being more palatable and less intense, by dimming my light so I don't blind others. I'm always watering down my magic for fear I'm "too much".
It's my job to SHOW UP and SHINE MY LIGHT. To come out of hiding so I can finally be found. And the people who need my medicine will show up. And the invitation they extend to me into their lives offers me the medicine of friendship and community that I've always needed.
Projectors gotta project. I will no longer hide my music and writings and wild personality. I'm coming out, y'all, nice to meet you.
If you’re interested in learning about Human Design, there’s tons of free info available online, but here’s a place you can start: What is the Human Design System? (jovianarchive.com)
Also, my Substack account needs a makeover. I no longer go by “gracieyin” anymore, but “gracelucille” is already taken. So I’m not sure what I’m going to do. Also, “if my life is an offering”? Do I want to keep that title? This account has always felt rather haphazard. Maybe that’s my style. I don’t know LOL.